function DisplayStatement(Statement) { var i, Main, Travel, Food, ArrayLength i = 1 Main = new Array() Main[i++] = "\"What's for dinner tonight?\"
\"You know what it is. It's meat and rice.\"
\"Oh yeah, I guess I got used to the American diet of extreme variety.\"" Main[i++] = "\"One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.\"
-Luciano Pavarotti" Main[i++] = "\"Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.\"" Main[i++] = "\"I'm a cop. What did that man who was just in here say to you?\"
\"He brought in a ticket for shoe repairs from 20 years ago.\"
\"You were arguing with him. What about?\"
\"I told him they'd be ready next Tuesday.\"" Main[i++] = "\"Hah, world domination. I leave that to the religious nuts and Republicans.\"" Main[i++] = "\"If you cash my check you will have immortal, eternal life.\"
\"That's too bad because sometimes I want to die.\"" Main[i++] = "\"They can never tell when I know what I'm doing.\"
\"Can you?\"
\"Not always, but every once in a while I like to keep them guessing by sticking my cigar in my ear.\"" Main[i++] = "\"Woah, woah, slow down. I'm a scientist, and that was still too fast\"
-Dr. Paul (the scientist)" Main[i++] = "\"You'd worry less about what people think of you if you knew how seldom it actually happens.\"" Main[i++] = "\"One word to describe Bob?
Destructive, no... Brilliant!
Is there a word that means both?\"" Main[i++] = "\"How can someone be so deliberate & methodical and yet, be so impulsive?
You, my friend, are a paradox.\"" Main[i++] = "\"Because you've got to do something when you're bored.\"" Main[i++] = "\"You don't think I have a brain tumor do you?\"
\"Why's that?\"
\"Because cancer pops up in the strangest places.\"
\"Are you saying your brain is a strange place?\"
" Main[i++] = "\"You know what your problem is? You have a death wish. I do too, but at least I direct it at other people.\"" Main[i++] = "\"What did she mean, she got the picture? I didn't get the picture, but then again, there are lots of things I don't know anything about. Age certainly hasn't conferred any smarts on me. Character maybe, but mediocrity is a constant, as one Russian writer put it. Russians have a way with aphorisms. They probably spend all winter thinking them up.\"" Main[i++] = "\"There is nothing on Earth quite so disconcerting as the perfectly normal, out of context.\"" Main[i++] = "\"And it all meant this: that there are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.
Vorbis loved knowing that. A man who knew that, knew everything he needed to know about people.\"" Main[i++] = "\"The lion was feeling odd sensations of gratitude. It felt it should catch up with the nice food that had tended to it and, well, refrain from eating it in some symbolic way. And now here was some more food, hardly paying it any attention. Well, it didn't owe this one anything...\"" Main[i++] = "\"He's going to start fighting again. He always calls people 'friend' just before he hits them.\"" Main[i++] = "\"Style makes you most excellent.\"
-Some odd fellow" Main[i++] = "\"Good hygiene makes the citizen!\"
-Exclamation by some crazy guy right before he offered two nice looking ladies his seat on the city bus. I'm glad I don't ride the city bus anymore." Main[i++] = "Two rules of success in life:
1. Don't tell people everything you know." Main[i++] = "\"Tea ceremony is about beauty and waiting,\" she said. \"And there can be great pleasure in waiting. Tonight, I would like to do that for you. To make you wait and give you pleasure.\"
-\"Bicycle Days\"" Main[i++] = "\"There he goes to make some lucky lady very very happy.
Then very very sad.\"" Main[i++] = "\"You're such a dork.\"
\"Quack.\"
\"Quack.\"
\"Quack.\"
\"Why are you quacking?\"
\"Because I'm a dork.\"
" Main[i++] = "\"Dude, those zombies are gonna start respawning in fifteen minutes.
I want to be good and drunk by then.\"" Main[i++] = "\"Ok, she's a pain in the ass too, which I kinda like. Not a bad pain, but more like a pain if you were to sit on something sharp only to find it was a tack with $100 on it. You don't necessarily like the pain, but you quickly forget about it because the payoff is worth it.\"
-Steve [from his Japan page]" Main[i++] = "\"Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.\"
-Henry Van Dyke" Main[i++] = "\"Some villains like to rely on fancy-shmancy gravity control equipment and things like that. Me, I'm into mindless destruction, and there ain't nothin' better than a big gun to get the job done.\"" Main[i++] = "\"In fact, the human penchant for drugs may be the accidental by-product of two completely different adaptive behaviors. ...evolution has endowed the human brain with two (formerly) unrelated faculties: its superior problem-solving abilities and an internal system of chemical rewards, such that when a person does something especially useful or heroic the brain is washed in chemicals that make it feel good. Bring the first of these faculties to bear on the second, and you wind up with a creature who has figured out how to use plants to artificially trip the brain's reward system.\"
-Michael Pollan \"The Botany of Desire\"" Main[i++] = "\"Physically it's clean, but morally it's a den of sin.\"" Main[i++] = "\"Finally, a way to combine my love of people with my love of hurting people!\"" Main[i++] = "\"You're going to have to go to Walgreens if you want that fancy French stuff.\"
-A liquor store cashier when asked if they had sambuca" Main[i++] = "\"Hug, kiss, love, then chop.\"
-Master Onion" Main[i++] = "\"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.\"
-Steven Wright" Main[i++] = "\"But I'll gladly explain to him why I am now useless in the House of Han.\"
\"Oh, of course,\" said Mu-pao. \"You have always been useless. But that doesn't mean you aren't neccessary.\"
\"What do you mean?\"
\"Happiness can depend as easily on useless things as useful ones.\"" Main[i++] = "\"I am a very patient person - providing I get my way in the end.\"
-Margaret Thatcher" Main[i++] = "\"As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake.\"
-Ta-sui [A friend sent me this quote. Do you think she was trying to tell me something?]" Main[i++] = "\"Huh! Priests!\" said Mr. Shoe. \"They're all the same. Always telling you that you're going to live again after you're dead, but you just try it and see the look on their faces!\"" Main[i++] = "\"Should I speak to you as my friend Mario or as a icon of the IS department?\"
-Someone who wanted to ask for a favor" i = 1 Travel = new Array() Travel[i++] = "\"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness. Broad, wholesome, charitable views cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth.\"
-Mark Twain" Travel[i++] = "\"I believe that only after experiencing,
Can something become one's own\"
-Mitsuo Aida" i = 1 Food = new Array() Food[i++] = "\"It was frightening, the extent to which a full belly made for a good mood. The one would follow the other measure for measure: so much good food and water, so much good mood. It was such a terribly fickle existence. I was at the mercy of turtle meat for smiles.\"" Food[i++] = "\"I have a story,\" I said, after a while.
\"A story?\"
\"Yes.\"
\"Of what use is a story? I'm hungry.\"
\"It's a story about food.\"" Food[i++] = "\"Mmmm.... bacon.\"" Food[i++] = "\"One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.\"
-Luciano Pavarotti" Food[i++] = "\"What's for dinner tonight?\"
\"You know what it is. It's meat and rice.\"
\"Oh yeah, I guess I got used to the American diet of extreme variety.\"" ArrayLength = eval(Statement + '.length') var l, fltRandom fltRandom = Math.random() l = ArrayLength - 1 - Math.floor((fltRandom * (ArrayLength - 1))) //alert(l) document.writeln("
" + eval(Statement + '[' + l + ']') + "
") }