Go back to part 2 (the Burgundy region, Switzerland, Austria, and my worst travel nightmare).
I woke up happy that it was a new day. The shower had great water pressure and temperature control. While in the shower I reassessed whether I really wanted to leave Vienna, and decided the best thing I could do was to find my way out of the city as quickly as possible. We had all sorts of options where to spend our day, but Heidelberg was the one town we were stopping in that we weren't spending nearly enough time in. I called our hotel in Heidelberg (the Goldener Hecht) to see if they had a room for us that day, but they were fully booked. The lady I talked to offered to find us another hotel room for the night, but she said she couldn't do it until we were in town. I was impressed that she'd help us out like that even though it didn't mean extra money for her hotel. That's what I consider great service.
Breakfast at the Ibis was really good, and the first time we had the type of German breakfast I told Lynn about. There were all sort of meats to choose from, juices, and even a fruit salad. I found it ironic that the best breakfast I had all trip was at my least favorite hotel (of the ones I stayed at since you know the K&T Boarding House was really the worst). The breakfast buffet was only available until 10, and it was amazing to see how quickly they cleared all the food at exactly 10.
When we left the hotel Lynn saw the street we were looking for; it was right by the hotel, and we must have passed it at least eight times. We couldn't see the sign for it the night before, but Lynn found it on a building across the intersection between its first and second stories. Who the hell puts street signs up there!? I was amazed that Lynn was even able to see it in the daylight. As we drove out of Vienna I didn't see anything that made me sorry we were leaving (I never thought Vienna was much to look at though). What killed me was that Vienna was one of my favorite cities the first time I visited Europe, and I was disappointed that Lynn wasn't going to experience it.
Driving through four different countries I noticed that if there was someone who was speeding excessively I could almost guarantee they were Swiss. I was also trying to figure out if Germany did away with their speed limit free autobahns because it seemed like there was always a speed limit posted. I hoped it wasn't something imposed by the European Union (EU), who've saved Europeans from the dangers of raw milk cheese and slow cooked foods. The German autobahn had advertising type freeway signs for different towns just like France, but the French freeway signs looked better. While Lynn drove I smoked a cigar (either a Montecristo "No. 3" or Bolivar "Coronas Extra") in the car. I didn't remember being impressed with it. I don't know why, but we drove through a lot of stinky German forests. It would smell like there was a slaughterhouse or cow farm nearby more often than seemed possible.
We had lunch at Rosenberger, "an autobahn restaurant". I wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but I later found out that they provided quick service, and they left the bill so you could pay it as quickly as you wanted to. I had a beer that was too hoppy with my food. It was the first beer I disliked all trip. Lynn actually ordered potato-bacon soup, and salad from the salad bar. The soup was good, but there were caraway seed in it. Lynn got some pasta thing with cheese and tomato that was pretty tasty covered in vinaigrette. The vinaigrette wasn't part of the dish, but a dressing for a salad Lynn had on the same plate. The rest of the stuff Lynn got from the salad bar wasn't very good. I had a "steak snack", two small pieces of grilled beef and one small piece of pork. It was pretty decent, and much better than fast food. There was a dessert on the menu called the royal torte with strawberries. I didn't know what it was, but it sounded good. It was sort of like a cheese cake that was hardly sweet, but good. We both thought it would have been better a little sweeter.
We left the restaurant and continued on our way to Heidelberg. Lynn drove about 2/3 of the way and I drove the final 1/3 into Heidelberg (because Lynn hated driving in cities). We got into the city, and once again our directions were worthless without street signs. I figured since our hotel was by the river that it would be easy to find. Wrong, we got lost pretty quickly. Lynn got on my nerves because she was mad because we were lost. What was worse is when I actually saw someone to ask directions from she wouldn't ask him. She wanted me to get out of the car and ask him even though I was driving. I could have left her there to find her own way to the hotel. I got out of the car and asked the guy if he could point me in the right direction since one of us had to. (I know the old stereotype of Germans on Saturday Night Live was guys with round glasses wearing all black clothing, and while 99% of the Germans I saw didn't fit that stereotype, the guy I asked for directions did.) I got lucky because he actually spoke English, and he was very helpful telling me how to find the road I was looking for. I found my way to the hotel, and I sat with the car running on the side of the street (there wasn't any place to park) while Lynn went into the hotel to talk to the front desk lady about finding us another hotel room. It felt like forever, but probably only took 15 minutes for her to find us a room. She was great because not only did she make the reservation for us, but she even printed out a map of the area and highlighted the route from her hotel to the other hotel. Did I mention how great I thought the service was at Goldener Hecht?
Our hotel room was at Hotel am Schloss, located above parking garage 12. It was a very small hotel with maybe a dozen rooms. Our room looked like a typic corporate room, but we did have a good view of Schloss Heidelberg, the castle above Heidelberg, from our window. After we got tired of looking at the castle we walked around Heidelberg a bit. It was a very small bit of walking because we only went far enough to find dinner.
We were still in the mood for Italian so we ate at Restaurant le Palme (especially because of the good smells coming from the restaurant). I started with a farmer salad (lettuce, beans, sheep cheese, tomatoes, and olives), and Lynn had a cream of asparagus soup (she seemed over her tomato soup obsession). I really dug the farmer salad. The sheep cheese actually tasted like sheep, but in a good way. Normally I hate asparagus soup, but this soup used a chicken stock base that tasted somewhat green, but not terribly of asparagus. I thought it was nice, and Lynn totally dug it.
For my entree I went for something I'd never had before, spaghetti Amatriciana (tomato, onion, and pancetta [Italian bacon]), even though I should have known better: I've had a hypothesis for a while about pork and tomatoes being terrible together. I would say this dish proved it a theory because the tomatoes gave the bacon a really nasty porky flavor. The spaghetti was tasty and all the onions in the sauce were good so I did my best to eat around the pancetta. Lynn liked the dish too. Her dish was eggplant gratin. All I tasted was nutmeg so I didn't like it, but Lynn couldn't taste it. She liked the dish, and ate far more of it than either I or probably the waiter expected.
I was feeling boring for dessert so I got tiramisu and Lynn got the interesting item, the panna cotta with amaretto. I thought the tiramisu was average with a strong expresso flavor. Lynn liked it a lot more than I did. Lynn's panna cotta looked like they forgot the amaretto, then when Lynn plunged her spoon into it all the amaretto came up from the bottom of the bowl. I tasted it, and at first I thought the amaretto was too much, but when it got mixed up with the panna cotta the flavor was perfect. It could have used something a little crunchy for a texture change, like almonds, but we both thought the dessert was great.
The very long drive had tired us out so we went straight to bed after dinner.
Our shower had weak water pressure and wandering temperature control. We had breakfast at the hotel, and it was more than the standard meat and cheese. It was very nice, and one of the best breakfasts of the trip. I asked the lady at the front desk if she knew where a laundry was located. She didn't know of one so she called information and found one for me. She even called them to find out their hours. I was impressed by the service at Hotel am Schloss too. I dropped my cloths off at the laundry (they washed and folded for you), checked out of hotel, and loaded the bags into the car.
Afterwards we walked up to Schloss Heidelberg. We took a tour of what was left of the castle, and in the middle of the tour they took a group picture of us. It was educational and interesting stuff, but it was too bad they didn't have more of the castle interior reconstructed. We got to go down into the cellar and see the largest wine barrel in Europe, and paid 4€ for a taste of really good ice wine. At the end of the tour they tried to sell us a group picture, and Lynn had to have one.
While we were in the castle courtyard I heard the crash of Lynn dropping my Powershot G2 for the second time this trip! She said the wrist strap disconnected itself while she was putting the camera back in her pocket (which was feasible because the wrist strap wasn't the most secure thing in the world). Then she tells me she wasn't actually holding the camera, but holding the wrist strap. Apparently Lynn can hold the camera, or use the wrist strap, but not both at the same time. I told her the wrist strap was never meant to be a substitute for actually holding the camera.
Lynn pissed me off because she kept trying to play it off like it was nothing. She seemed to think that "It was an accident" should explain everything away. In the two or so years I owned the camera I never dropped it once, and in less than a month she had already dropped it twice! I'm sorry but holding onto a camera is not a difficult concept, and her inability to do so made me seriously question her intelligence. Her refusal to take any kind of responsibility for dropping the camera twice made me hate her. Lynn was lucky the camera still worked, and there was now a sizable dent in the camera that ruined its resale value (and yes, they do have a resale value). I guess things are different when you don't pay for stuff yourself.
I didn't want to talk to Lynn anymore since everything she said aggravated me so she went off on her own to the front of the castle (tempting me to leave her wasn't too bright since I already tried to once before this trip). I eventually found her and tried to talk to her, but we weren't getting anywhere. I walked back into the castle when a security guard (where did he come from!?) asked to see my ticket. I had both of our tickets, and I knew if I walked into the castle Lynn wouldn't be able to follow. I showed the guard my ticket, and walked into the castle courtyard fully expecting to not see Lynn again until she found her own way to the new hotel, and probably getting a divorce when we got back home. "Oh well," I thought. Lynn was lucky she tried to come back into the castle before I made it further than she could shout, "He's got my ticket."
It took us a while after that to get to the point where we'd talk to each other again. We went through the castle's pharmacy museum, which gave us a neutral subject to talk about.
We left the castle and went to find lunch. I wasn't in the mood for Italian, German, or Indian so we went to lunch at Sawasdee, a Thai restaurant. I'd later notice walking around that there were a decent number Thai restaurants in Heidelberg; I knew there was a reason I liked Heidelberg. It was a nice day so we once again sat at a sidewalk table. I had a Thai iced tea, and I was surprised that it wasn't like the versions I've had before. The ice tea was syrupy, and I could taste lime juice. It tasted Mexican to me because it was similar to tamarind juice with lime and chile. I really disliked the drink. I saw tom yum gai on the menu and got a large bowl for Lynn and I to split. I noticed two things about it immediately: one, they used fish stock for the soup instead of chicken stock, and two, the soup was very spicy (tom yum gai is spicy, but this was spicier than I expected). The soup was very nice, but the fish stock made the chicken taste fishy.
I had a dish called chicken in chile sauce, but it looked like regular stir fried chicken. It did have a spicy and salty sauce that was pretty tasty. The only problem is there were lots of pieces of galanga in the sauce that wasn't meant to be eaten, but they were difficult to avoid because of how small they were. Lynn had chicken in red curry. There was a lot of coconut milk in her curry so it wasn't spicy, but there was a lot of anise in the flavor. I didn't like the dish at all, but Lynn liked the vegetables.
I would have gotten coconut ice cream and fried bananas, but our waitress disappeared to never be seen again. I hate having to track down wait staff at the end of my meal, but I was ready for the bill. I went inside the restaurant to find our waitress sitting at the bar talking to some friend of hers. I just paid the bill on the spot.
While we sat at our table we did a lot of people watching since there were a lot of people walking down the pedestrian street. There were a lot of good looking and hot chicks in Germany. They were securely at the top of our hot chick hierarchy since the women weren't usually attractive in France, only somewhat attractive in Switzerland, and decently attractive in Austria.
After lunch we checked into the Goldener Hecht. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to meet the lady who helped us so much the day before to thank her again. Our room was super cute with a blue theme, and had an excellent view of the river and old man bridge. The bed was actually soft too. I didn't mind the cheap hotels we stayed at, but I was glad that we stayed at some more expensive places too because they seemed worth the extra money.
We went back to the pedestrian street, and walked down it to do some window shopping. I saw an Asian art shop that I had to stop at since I'm a sucker for Asian art. I looked through their stuff and didn't see much that I liked, but I was thorough. In one of the crowded display cases I saw some interesting erotic Indian art. I had the guy show one specific piece that I liked, and I was impressed with the quality. Lynn thought it was pretty nice too. Since Lynn was going to get me a piece of erotic Indian artwork for Christmas, but we hadn't gotten it yet, she got me this one instead. I was happy. We also stopped at a tea shop that had tea roses (tea leaves tied together to form flower shapes that are very decorative, especially when the tea steeps in the cup). I dig tea, and never had a tea rose before so I was curious. I wanted to get one to take back home with me, but I was worried that since it wasn't cooked or frozen that I wouldn't be allowed to bring it into the country. I was about to leave when the guy gave me one of the cheap tea roses for free. That was completely unexpected, and amazingly nice. If you like tea and you're ever in Heidelberg be sure to visit the tea shop by the church.
We walked a lot up and down that pedestrian street looking at shops. We got hungry because while Thai food is delicious, it doesn't stay with you very long, and we had walked a lot. We picked up some Belgian style fries with curry sauce from Big Pomme for a snack. The fries were very good and crispy, and while the curry sauce was a little sweet it was easy to get used to the stuff pretty quickly.
We had dinner at the hotel restaurant, and it was packed. We sat at a table for five because it was the only table available. The waitress told us something in German, but we didn't understand. Eventually another couple sat at our table, and the waitress said something to them in German. They got up to leave, and I wondered out loud what the waitress said. One of the couple leaving told me, "It would be a long wait." I didn't even know she spoke English! It seems like a lot more German speaking people also spoke English on this trip.
The waitress gave us menus and a photocopied page of hand written specials. I ordered a soup that I had no clue what was in it because the hand writing was so bad I couldn't read it. I knew it was soup because that was the only word I could make out. I think it was a cream of spinach soup with little freshwater shrimp (or possibly dried shrimp). The shrimp were a surprise because I didn't see them when I started eating the soup. It wasn't until I dipped my spoon deeply into the bowl that I discovered they were there. The soup was pretty salty and tasty, but I didn't like the shrimp which tasted shrimpy. Lynn had a potato-bacon soup that had a very nice flavor.
I wanted meat so I went with a German dish that I was already familiar with, grilled steak with onions and a brown sauce, and spetzle. The steak was huge and pretty tasty, but I knew it would be. The spetzle was bland (aren't they always?), but they were decent with the sauce. I labored to eat the entire steak, but failed. Lynn had a sampler plate that had a pork fillet in cognac cream sauce, some odd meat thing (I don't know how else to describe it except some odd meat thing), spetzle, and something they referred to as "German gnocchi". The cognac sauce was flavorless to me so I didn't like the pork fillet because the sauce didn't add anything to it. Lynn liked it. The odd meat thing was, big surprise here, was odd. It also tasted of nutmeg, and we both hated it. The "German gnocchi" were tasteless and pointless.
Lynn was proud of herself for drinking almost two liters of beer all by herself (I did help a little). It was Hoepfner Kristalweizen, and I had to admit it was damn tasty stuff; there was a certain Champagne crispness quality to it that I totally dug. I'm currently trying to find it in the US.
We went back to our room and I smoked an El Rey del Mundo "Choix Supreme" (CHF 9). It had a sweet scent, but it was a bland cigar. Lynn went to sleep, but I stayed up to watch dirty German television. Apparently the dirty tv in Germany is a little more censored than the dirty tv in Switzerland. Swiss tv avoided outright crotch shots, but they weren't shy about the lower body either. German tv, on the other hand, seemed to censor any shots of the lower body. There were better boobs on German tv though.
The shower water pressure was weak and the temperature control was average. We went to breakfast, and we were served at our own little table. It was cozy, and we had a really good selection of meats and other stuff. We both thought it was great. I also used my tea rose since I really wondered if I could get it back into the country. (When I went through US customs it didn't seem like it would have been a problem.) The tea rose tasted just like any other tea, but it did look cool.
We left Heidelberg and headed to Reims, France. There was a lot of freeway construction on the German and Austrian freeway, which really made me appreciate the construction free French and Swiss freeways. Here's something I would have made up if it didn't happen; one of the towns we passed in Germany was called Bobenhiem (those who know me personally will get it).
We tried to eat at a place right before the French border, but the food at the place we stopped didn't look that good. I guess we were too close to the French border. The waitress at the place was cute though, which also seemed true to France. We ended up eating at a fast food place not far from the other side of the French border. I had a chicken sandwich with lettuce and tomato, and Lynn had a ham, tomato, and mozzarella panini. The chicken in my sandwich tasted lemony, but the sandwich was dry and not good. Lynn's sandwich started out tasting good, but the herbs in the sandwich were overpowering.
Even though I liked Germany better than France I was happy to leave the stinky German countryside for the cuter (and pleasantly scented) French countryside. Occasionally we'd see fields filled with some sort of yellow flowers. Once or twice there were so many of those fields that we saw yellow flowers to the horizon. I wished I could have taken some pictures, but there was never any place to pull over.
As nice as it was driving on French highways, driving in French cities sucked because the signs wouldn't tell you what streets were at an intersection, but where they were going. If you didn't know the local destinations then you were screwed. I drove into Reims, and the driving directions I had almost worked. At one point we thought we were lost, but Lynn spotted our hotel. I didn't know how we were going to find our hotel in Paris the next day since we almost got lost in the relatively small Reims.
Chateau de la Muire, as the name implies, used to be a chateau. We checked in, and our room was very nice. Everything about the hotel seemed classy, including our room (which had a bidet). We sat in the hotel bar so I could smoke my Montecristo "No. 2" (12€). The hotel bar had two rooms, one in mustards, burgundies, and leather, very much like a club room, and the other one was on the patio. The patio room featured the same colors, but the effect was completely different due to its white tile floor and large windows. While the interior room was very classy and staid the patio room was very light and vibrant. The ceiling was covered with blue cloth and had white Christmas lights poking through it. It was very cool, and they played music that would be at home at the Kornhauskeller. It was an excellent place to smoke a cigar. The room was better than the cigar though because it was medium and only decent.
Dinner was at the hotel restaurant, L'Assiette Champenoise. We were seated and had a glass of Krug "Grande Cuvee". Damn it if the Krug wasn't just as tasty as the Taittinger (in a completely different way though since the Krug is a lot more masculine). I hate the fact that I like the really expensive Champagnes. The waiters then brought out an amuse with three different items: smoked salmon in some sort of reduction, chicken in some sort of cream sauce that had a strong herbiness to it, and a fried seafood item (I think it was a small fish). The different dishes were salty, but all of them were quite delicious. We were then brought out a second amuse of oysters with a little rice in a butter sauce (served foamy, which seemed trendy in France). The rice was undercooked, but the flavor of the butter sauce and oysters was so good that I didn't care if the rice was a little gritty.
We ordered a demi bottle of "Chorey-les-Beaune 2000" (I don't know who made it) red Burgundy to go with our meal, and it was pretty good. I had much better luck with Burgundy wine outside of Burgundy than when we were there.
Our first course (hard to believe we had already eaten four different small items, and hadn't even hit a formal course yet) was lobster with tomato puree, barley, olive oil, balsamic, and a sweet sauce. I'm not a big fan of lobster, but the combination of lobster with the tomato puree was so perfect; the natural sweetness of the tomatoes added something that transformed lobster from so-so to great. The barley mixture beneath it was amazingly tasty too.
The second course was seared foie gras with a lemon and cherry sauce. I was worried about this course because of our previous experiences with foie gras on this trip, but this was the best seared foie gras I've ever had! I know foie gras is like pure fat, and I like fat, but I normally don't like seared foie gras because tasting nothing but warm fat isn't my idea of good eating. The cherry sauce on the seared foie gras made me love the foie gras.
The third course was grilled fish ("Bar de ligne", I don't know if there's a word for it in English) with pickled onions, a thin, buttery sauce, and a separate sweet sauce. Finally, a piece of fish instead of fish mousse or fish quinelles! The fish was perfectly grilled too with crispy skin and edges, and moist flesh on the inside. It was amazingly satisfying. Once again the sauce and all the little items it was served with were great too.
The fourth course was lamb confit, and this was the first course that wasn't on the same level as the rest of the meal. The lamb was a little gamey with a sweet and mild flavor, but it wasn't a flavor that encouraged devouring like the other courses. Oddly enough even though Lynn is sensitive to gaminess she didn't taste it in the lamb.
My tolerance for wine is decent, but it's absolutely terrible for Champagne so I felt like I had too much wine. Walking around always makes me feel better so I wandered around the hotel a bit. While walking around I noticed that there was a cigar lounge directly across from the bar. I don't know how I missed it earlier that day. There was a five foot tall humidor in the lounge, and they had cigar boxes filling every single bit of free space in the humidor. Their selection was better than the tobacco shops I'd been to! One of the few regrets I have from the trip is that I didn't buy a few of the rarer or aged cigars they had.
We had a cheese course, but somehow neither Lynn or I remember it. Probably because it was typical, and dessert was a production. It started with a chocolate fondant with vanilla ice cream. The fondant was like a luxurious Kit-Kat bar for adults with its smooth, rich chocolate, and underlying layer of crunchiness. There was another plate of chocolate ice cream, chocolate mousse with candied nuts, milk chocolate, and some sort of vanilla mousse type thing. Practically everything was excellent. There was also thinly sliced fried bananas topped with brittle. That was simple and excellent. We also had a plate of raspberry and coconut marshmallows served long so they had to be cut with scissors (which they supplied on a plate). I've never been a fan of marshmallows, but these homemade ones were too good not to eat at least a couple of pieces. Even the coconut one. There were the usual milk and dark chocolates, and I don't remember a thing about them. It was probably because there were other more unusual things to attract my attention. The only dessert I didn't like were some small hollow cakes with apricot marmalade. The cake didn't taste good to me, and the apricot marmalade didn't help them. I had hot green tea with dessert so I was a happy camper. After the time in New Orleans when we had jasmine tea with our white and milk chocolate mousses I've been convinced that hot tea is the perfect non-alcoholic accompaniment for desserts. The hot tea helps cleanse your palette while the flavor of the tea is complimentary to most desserts.
Lynn asked for a copy of the tasting menu, and they gave us the whole menu.
I was so impressed with our dinner at L'Assiette Champenoise that I'd be willing to return to Reims just so I could eat there again. They were the best meal I had in France, and the best meal of the trip for me. What's funny, but not really a surprise, is they were only rated one star, and I thought they were much better than the two star Les Elysées du Vernet. It just reproved what I already knew; ratings don't mean anything if the food doesn't speak to you. That's why I don't put faith in restaurant rating systems, even one as rigorous as Michelin.
And the best thing about L'Assiette Champenoise (besides the food); the price of the meal was reasonable.
We were back in the land of hand showers, which I didn't miss one bit. The water pressure was good, but the temperature control wandered. We had to fit all of our crap in our bags, which wasn't easy because we picked up a lot of stuff along the way (like a dozen bottles of wine). We were in Reims because it's loaded with Champagne houses, but neither Lynn or I really felt like doing any Champagne tasting (or driving around Reims) so we decided to head back to Paris early. I regret not seeing Reims, but it gives me an excuse to return.
Lynn was driving into Paris so it was my job to navigate to our hotel in the ninth arrondissement. I knew this would be our most harrowing drive so I went over the maps and directions until I thought I memorized the directions. When we drove into Paris I was confident that we weren't going to get lost. I should've known better. Once we got off the freeway the street signs disappeared. Desperate the secret to driving in French cities came to me in a flash; you have to know all the minor destinations between where you are and your ultimate destination because those destinations have signs even if the streets don't. Instead of futilely looking for the sign for Rue de Bastille we turned right at the sign that said [ Place de la Bastille --> ]. Once we got to the Bastille we then headed to the Opera. After that we were supposed to go to Trinité, but we missed the turn because there was a bus that blocked my view of the signs. This is where good planning was key because I had already planned for this contingency. We headed towards Gare St. Lazare, and I knew my way from there to our hotel. I thought things went amazingly smooth, but Lynn was about to have a nervous breakdown. The lack of people driving in lanes, fluid traffic I called it, was a bit much for her to deal with. I don't know what her problem was because it wasn't like people were trying to hit her. I had seen how things were done in Paris when we were there earlier so we just parked our car in front of the hotel in the no parking zone and moved our bags into the hotel. I then took over driving and found a parking garage.
We found our way to back to our hotel, Hotel Langlois, from the parking garage and checked in. It had a cute lobby and we used an antique elevator with a wooden door to get to our room. Our room looked nice, but the view was of the building five feet across from our hotel. I think the view ruined the hotel room for Lynn because she didn't like the room.
Driving in Paris is nuts so I wanted to know exactly where I needed to drop the car off so we left the hotel on foot to find the Avis car rental agency by Gare St. Lazare. It's a good thing I did too because the garage was around the corner from the Avis agency, and completely unmarked. While walking to the car rental agency we saw a dog walk up to a scooter, lift his leg up, and pee all over it. It wouldn't have been that funny except that the dog was in front of us when he started and we were half a block ahead of him when he finished, and the only reason he finished was because his owner called him. I felt sorry for the owner of the scooter because the dog was tall and he didn't aim for the front wheel. That reminded me that I didn't see one of Paris stereotypes the entire time we were there, dog poop.
I was starving so I wanted to get something to eat. There was a cafe right by our hotel, La Rotonde, that was too convenient for me to ignore. I had a warm goat cheese and tomato salad and Lynn had the French onion soup. The combination of warm goat cheese and tomatoes was pretty close to brilliant, and the salad (which had a couple of leaves of butter lettuce) was pretty good. Lynn's soup was watery and tasteless. I had a steak with bearnaise sauce. The steak needed some seasoning so the bearnaise came in handy. I didn't eat very much it, and it made me wistful for the steak Lynn had from La Fountaine de Mars. I saw tarte tatin on the menu, but I was hesitant to order it because this didn't seem like the type of restaurant to make it well. I went against my better judgement, and it was terrible. I wasn't happy with lunch, but at least it ensured that I'd be hungry for dinner at Le Meurice.
I planned the route to the garage, but somehow I missed a turn. I got lucky that I eventually saw something I recognized, and found my way to the garage. I turned the rental car in, but I don't have any idea what the total was going to be with the damage. We told the guy at Avis about having to have the car towed and getting reimbursed for it. He said he understood, but his English was extremely poor. They never reimbursed me for the towing. I sent an email to their customer service to follow up, and it took them over two months to respond in even an unsatisfactory matter. I'm never renting a car from Avis again, and I'm never renting a car in a country I don't speak the language either.
After we dropped the car off we wandered around the neighborhood. The first thing I saw was a wine shop. It figured that it specialized in Champagne. The first thing I saw when we walked in was a bottle of the Taittinger "Comtes de Champagne Blanc de blancs 1995". I took it as a sign and bought a bottle. I had no idea how we were going to fit it in our already tight luggage. There was a nice shopping center in the area, and it seemed like that's where all the good looking women in Paris hung out. In general the ninth arrondissement seemed a lot more lively than the seventh.
We then went to the Champs-Elysées and found La Maison du Chocolat open. We picked up a box of chocolate for ourselves and one for my mom. We also stopped at a cigar shop so I could bring some Cubans back with me, which is illegal in case you didn't know. (I was only bringing back a few, and they were unbanded so I figured the likelihood of getting caught was slim. If I got caught it definitely wouldn't have been worth it. If you want Cubans it's much easier to have them delivered by mail, not that I'm endorsing that sort of thing.) We finished shopping on the Champs-Elysées, and went back to the hotel to get dressed for dinner.
I wanted our last dinner in Europe to be special so I made a reservation for the two star Le Meurice for dinner. We were dressed up on the Metro ride to the restaurant, but it didn't seem like anyone thought it was odd. When we got to the restaurant for our seven o'clock reservation we were only the second table seated. The dining room was a bit warm, but as people were seated the dining room cooled down. The dining room was amazing; it had a vaulted ceiling, bookended marble columns, lots of gold, and was very Baroque. It was easily the fanciest dining room I've ever eaten in.
We started dinner with a glass of Champagne, and it was the only Champagne we had that I didn't like. The other Champagnes were interesting and unique, but this had the standard green apple flavor. It wouldn't have been so bad, but the glasses cost 25€ apiece. We were brought an amuse of canapes. They weren't good enough to finish eating. We were then brought a second amuse of fish mousse and an oyster in a butter sauce (which was served foaming). That was actually really tasty, and the only seafood type mousse I've ever liked. We were given bread, and the bread was so great I wanted to kiss the baker. The crust was very crisp, and the interior was moist and dense. Basically, it was perfect for me.
After the tasty amuse and the bread I was primed for some great food. The first course was a stuffed artichoke with some sort of vegetable salsa. Stuffed doesn't accurately describe what they did to the artichoke; the artichoke had all of its leaves removed, leaving only the heart and stem intact, the meat stuffing was placed on top of the heart, and then the leaves were meticulously layered on top of the stuffing. It was the most intricate piece of food I've ever eaten. It was all for naught though because the stuffed artichoke didn't taste good to me. I liked the vegetable salsa type thing it was served with, but there was something in it I was allergic to. (I still haven't figured out what I'm allergic to, but its only symptom is that it causes the back of my throat to feel scratchy so I'm not concerned about it.) The allergy is irritating so I stopped eating the vegetable salsa.
The second course was asparagus gratin with warm bone marrow and Parmesan. The ingredients all sounded good, and like they should be good together, but the dish seemed like it lacked soul. It wasn't bad, but I thought even the asparagus I had at Le Fleury in Beaune was better.
The third course was langoustines in some sort of sauce (which was also served foaming). After trying it I still didn't care for the flavor of langoustine.
The fourth course was sea bass on top of tomato puree. It was actually pretty good. The tomato puree didn't seem like the best match for the sea bass, but the sea bass was perfectly cooked and tasty. I couldn't help comparing it to the fish we had the night before at L'Assiette Champenoise, and finding Le Meurice's sea bass lacking. I also wondered where they get their sea bass from in France because it didn't have that oddness of flavor that makes me dislike the sea bass in the US.
The fifth course was lamb chops with tiny thinly sliced potatoes on top and caramelized onions with a sauce poured on by the waiter. (Foaming sauces, and sauces poured at the table are two things that seemed very trendy in French haute cuisine. I didn't understand either, but they didn't adversely affect dishes so I didn't care.) The lamb chops also received a treatment similar to the stuffed artichoke; the meat was cut from the bone, cooked, and then the cleaned and blindingly white cooked (separate from the meat) bone was poked back into the meat. It seemed pointless, and I found it detrimental since I like eating the crispy bits of lamb meat off the bone. When I tasted the lamb chops they were gamey as hell. I don't mind some gaminess in my lamb, but this was way beyond the point of acceptability. Here's the really odd thing, Lynn thought the lamb chops were great; she didn't taste the gaminess at all. I wonder if it had something to do with the glass of red wine she had. (The wine was Chateau La Mission "Haut Grion 1994", and Lynn said it was very good.) I don't know what they did with the sliced potatoes on top of the lamb, but those were unnaturally tasty. I wanted any entire dish of those instead of the few meager slices on top of each chop.
One of the waiters came by with the cheese cart. He asked Lynn what she wanted, but Lynn wasn't sure. He pointed to various goat, cow, sheep, and blue cheeses, and asked her what she liked. Then, with a genuine look of glee and the smile of someone who truly loves their job, he suggested that she let him pick for her. Lynn agreed, and he quickly quizzed her on the types of cheese she liked, and made his selections. I internally cracked up when the last one he chose (the "piece de resistance" he said) was a ripe goat cheese that wasn't sliced, but had to be scooped out of the top of the wheel. I made my selections, sure to get a variety, and some of the more interesting cheeses they had. Unfortunately my notes for the cheeses disappeared (or I never wrote them down) so the only thing I remember about my cheeses was I had a goat cheese coated with ashes that tasted like a burnt tire. Lynn enjoyed the cheeses the waiter selected for her, but was hesitant to try that soft goat cheese. His enthusiasm overcame her reticence, and she found the cheese quite mild. He later came by and asked us about our cheeses, especially the ones he chose for Lynn. We both liked the guy, and found him to be one of the best experiences we had at the restaurant.
Another thing that seemed trendy was to serve a myriad of desserts so I was looking forward to the impending flood because of my theory that restaurants that makes bad entrees make excellent desserts (I really do find that 80% of the time it's true). We were brought wild strawberries and creme brulee ice cream. It was interesting because the wild strawberries looked more like prickly little raspberries, and the ice cream was somehow encased in a square tube of caramelized sugar. The flavor of the strawberries was sweet and vivid; they put the flavor of regular strawberries, which I enjoy immensely, to shame. The combination of everything together was amazing, and I was truly impressed. Lynn didn't really care for the dessert, and only ate half. I finished off the rest of her dessert. The second dessert was a chocolate fondant with cinnamon ice cream, and a cinnamon graham cracker. It was decent, but once again I kept comparing it to the fondant at L'Assiette Champenoise, which was perfect. After that dessert I thought they'd fill the table with little desserts, but all we got was a hollow cocoa bean shaped chocolate filled with thin caramel wafers. The caramel was good, but nothing to swoon over.
Lynn once again asked for a copy of the tasting menu we ate, and the hostess brought us the entire menu in a little bag to take with us.
I was disappointed in the food at Le Meurice, and it ended up being the most expensive dinner of the trip (and we didn't even order a bottle of wine like we did at other restaurants). I decided that the Michelin restaurant guide deserved the same consideration I give other restaurant guides, which is none at all. Obviously the type of food that appeals to them and the type of food that appeals to me is different. Lynn thought the food was pretty good at Le Meurice, and more importantly to her, found the wait staff very friendly. She thought the food was better at Les Elysées du Vernet, but she'd return to le Meurice before Les Elysées du Vernet because of the friendly service.
An unexpected bonus to having dinner at Le Meurice was the people watching. We noticed there were a lot of Japanese tourists eating at the restaurant. I wondered if the restaurant was well documented in Japanese guidebooks. One table in particular caught Lynn's attention. (Keep in mind these are Lynn's guesses, but they seemed accurate to me.) There was a lady sitting with her mother-in-law, waiting at the table for her husband to make his appearance. From their dress and actions they appeared to be accustomed to money. While other people would be seated, eat an entree, have a picture of themselves taken, and leave, this table acted like eating expensive meals in grandiose rooms was a daily occurrence. Her husband eventually showed up, and Lynn said she could see him being descended from an old samurai family. I thought it would have been funny if his business was selling those futuristic Japanese toilets.
We woke up and the shower had strong water pressure, but wandering temperature control. We didn't get the hotel breakfast so I thought we'd get something from the boulangerie next to the hotel, but for some reason it was closed at 9 in the morning. We didn't eat anything, and ended up waiting about 20 minutes for our shuttle to show up. That reminded me why I hate shuttles; they aren't that cheap for two people, and they're very inconvenient because you always have to wait around for them to show up. Our shuttle driver was some fast talking Indian guy who drove like a maniac, but we both liked him. I found it interesting that he'd lived in Paris for more than a few years, but he still needed to use an onboard computer for directions (our first taxi driver also needed to use a map).
We got to Charles du Gaulle airport, and I didn't see any external signage. I had hoped our taxi driver dropped us off at the correct terminal. We got inside, and there was a long line for the US Air ticket counter. Every once in a while a recording would play over the airport loudspeakers that said airport personal could search or destroy your baggage at any time. While we were in line we saw a group of at least a dozen French soldiers with machine guns walking through the terminal, probably to emphasize the point. There wasn't a line for first class so Lynn wanted to get into it since we were on the list for a first class upgrade. I didn't think they'd let us, but there wasn't any harm in asking. Turns out they let us through. We checked in, but when I tried to go to the gates they wanted me to check in my carry on bag (stuffed full of wine bottles). I wasn't happy about checking it in, but I didn't have a choice. I was confident that the bag was packed tight enough, and with enough padding, that none of the bottles would shatter.
We went to our gate, and talked to them to see if we got our upgrade. They said they'd call us before we boarded the plane if we got it. There was a small snack bar at the gate, and we were hungry since we didn't have breakfast. We got a premade ham and cheese sandwich, a croissant, and some water. The croissant wasn't bad, but the ham and cheese (jambon et fromage sounds so much better) sandwich was just as terrible as any packaged sandwich. I guess the awfulness of premade food is universal. The plane was ready to board and we still didn't hear anything. Lynn asked them about it, and they said they had called our names earlier. There was only one catch to the upgrade; the seats weren't next to each other. I figured that wouldn't be a problem since someone would probably trade seats with us. The flight boarded, and the guy sitting next to Lynn traded seats with me (thank you mystery guy). The flight went by much faster in the larger seats. The food wasn't very good, but what do you expect for airline food? I had a glass of E. Guigal "Cote du Rhone" on the plane, and I tasted the same flavor I didn't like in previous cheap "Cote du Rhone"s. I guess I don't really like "Cote du Rhone"s.
We arrived in Philadelphia, and Lynn got into the country just fine, but my name apparently threw up some flags. (There's a whole long story about high security passport holding red folders, and monosyllabic speaking homeland security guys, but I'm just not in the mood to write about it so you'll get the quick version.) I had to sit around a homeland security office while some officers (who seemed to be from Texas instead of Philly) looked at some pictures to determine if I was any of the people they were looking for. Needless to say I wasn't. Lynn had retrieved our luggage while she worried about why I got stopped. After I had left the homeland security office I was happy to find out that the wine in the carry on survived the flight intact.
We boarded our domestic flight without eating lunch so despite my hatred for US Air's domestic meal policy, I paid $10 for one of their "Southwest" chicken salads that was developed by the food geniuses at T.G.I.Friday's (that's sarcasm in case you missed it). Starvation will make you do a lot of things you wouldn't normally, and the salad did keep me from starving, but it definitely wasn't good eating. The remainder of the flight was unexceptional.
I probably had some of the best and worst experiences of my life on this trip, and while I wouldn't necessarily repeat them I don't wish they were different. Ten days in Paris didn't change my initial impression of the place; I still don't care for it, especially since I found so little food that I actually enjoyed. The funny thing is I do have fond memories of the city, and I find myself wanting to return there. I still love German speaking countries, and I was extremely happy that Lynn loved them too. Even though I want Italy (Tuscany and Venice in particular) to be the next European country I visit, I'm still quite tempted to just go back to Germany, Switzerland, and Austria.
I had hoped that I'd like a Rick Steves' tour better than the EF tour I took, but I didn't really. I'm not much of a group activity type of person to begin with, but when I'm on vacation the last thing I want to do is deal with other people. If I was single a tour would be a great way to socialize, but when I'm with someone else I really don't feel like playing nice with others. I'd probably take a tour of someplace I haven't been before, like Italy.
I also don't like the idea of paying someone else to tell me what to do (like eat dessert instead of an appetizer or salad for instance). Tours are good for seeing lots of things, but I'd prefer to miss things and retain my freedom.
Renting a car had advantages and disadvantages. As I wrote earlier, I'll probably never rent a car in a country where I don't speak the language; it's easy to drive without knowing the language, but it helps to speak the language if anything unusual happens. If I did rent a car not only would I have a road atlas, point to point driving directions, but I'd also have detailed city maps of any town I planned on driving in. I'd also learn the local attractions along any route I'd be driving in any French cities.
I guarantee I'll never rent a car from Avis again for a number of reasons (not all of which were in this trip report).
If, for some reason, I decide to rent a car in France again I won't pick it up or drop it off in Paris. Paris is too crazy for me to drive in so I'd take a train to a smaller city, and pick the car up there. The price of the train tickets would be worth saving my sanity.
My experience with Cuban cigars before this vacation was extremely limited, so one of my goals for this vacation was to rectify that. I knew the cigars were going to taste different from what I was familiar with, but other than that I didn't know what to expect. Well, Cuban cigars did taste different from what I was used to, but what surprised me is how similar to each other they tasted. I didn't really notice a difference between the Cohibas, Montecristos, Bolivars, Partagas, El Rey del Mundos, and Punchs. Maybe my taste buds lack the sensitivity to detect the subtle nuances between the different brands, but American brands do a much better job blending their cigars to actually taste different. By the end of the trip I was dying for a cigar that tasted like anything else. I was impressed by the smoothness of Cuban tobacco (I only had one Cuban cigar on this trip that wasn't smooth, and it was overhumidified), but their cigar construction needs to improve since I ran into a couple of poorly rolled cigars.
Cuban cigars would make a good addition to anyone's cigar rotation, but it does make me appreciate American cigar brands and the great variety they provide. What I would like to see someday (and who knows when the Cuban embargo will be lifted) is a cigar blended with Cuban, Nicaraguan, and Brazilian tobacco. I think that would be pretty tasty.
Category |
Lynn's Pick(s) |
Mario's Pick(s) |
|---|---|---|
Best Appetizer |
Blue lobster with tomato puree and lentils - L'Assiette Champenoise, Reims, France Goat cheese with sun dried tomatoes and greens - La Fountaine de Mars, Paris, France |
Blue lobster with tomato puree and lentils - L'Assiette Champenoise, Reims, France |
Worst Appetizer |
Foie gras - Les Elysées du Vernet, Paris, France |
Foie gras - Les Elysées du Vernet, Paris, France |
Best Soup |
Tomato bread soup - Kornhauskeller, Bern, Switzerland Cream of mushroom soup - La Fountaine de Mars, Paris, France |
French onion soup - Brasserie Bofinger, Paris, France |
Worst Soup |
French onion soup - La Rotonde, Paris, France |
French onion soup - La Rotonde, Paris, France |
Best Salad |
Lettuce with gruyere, ham, and a fried egg - creperie (can't remember name), Paris, France |
Tomato, goat cheese, bacon, and lettuce salad - La Rotonde, Paris, France |
Worst Salad |
N/A |
Lettuce with potatoes and bacon - creperie (can't remember name), Paris, France |
Best Seafood Entree |
Sea bass with almond cream sauce and onions - L'Assiette Champenoise, Reims, France |
Sea bass with almond cream sauce and onions - L'Assiette Champenoise, Reims, France |
Worst Seafood Entree |
N/A |
Langoustines with seafood mousse in a celery infusion - Le Meurice, Paris, France |
Best Meat Entree |
Lamb chops - Les Elysées du Vernet, Paris, France |
Baked lamb with ratatouille - Kornhauskeller, Bern, Switzerland Lamb curry - Indian restaurant (can't remember name), Bern, Switzerland Bratwurst with onion rosti and sauerkraut - Theresien Brau, Innsbruck, Austria |
Worst Meat Entree |
Beef dish - Chez Camille, Arnay-le-Duc, France |
Coq au vin - L'Ete en Pente Douce, Paris, France |
Best Dessert |
Wild strawberries with creme brulee ice cream - Le Meurice, Paris, France Chocolate caramel cake - Bateaux Parisiens, Paris, France All the desserts - Les Elysées du Vernet, Paris, France Pot au creme - La Fountaine de Mars, Paris, France Panna cotta with amaretto - Le Palme, Heidelberg, Germany |
Wild strawberries with creme brulee ice cream - Le Meurice, Paris, France The chocolate thing with vanilla ice cream - L'Assiette Champenoise, Reims, France Apricot and violet clafoutis - Bateaux Parisiens, Paris, France Strawberries with pistachio sabayon and vanilla ice cream - La Fountaine de Mars, Paris, France |
Worst Dessert |
Tarte tatin - La Rotonde, Paris, France |
Salzburger Nockerl - Restaurant Goldener Adler, Innsbruck, Austria Rice pudding with berry sauce - Hotel Bellevue, Brunnen, Switzerland |
Best Lunch |
L'Ete en Pente Douce - Paris, France |
Indian restaurant (can't remember name) - Bern, Switzerland cafe (can't remember name) - Beaune, France |
Worst Lunch |
The Louvre Cafeteria - Paris, France |
The Louvre Cafeteria - Paris, France |
Best Dinner |
L'Assiette Champenoise - Reims, France Kornhauskeller - Bern, Switzerland |
L'Assiette Champenoise - Reims, France |
Worst Dinner |
Chez Camille - Arnay-le-Duc, France |
Chez Camille - Arnay-le-Duc, France |
Best Atmosphere |
Kornhauskeller - Bern, Switzerland |
Kornhauskeller - Bern, Switzerland |
Worst Atmosphere |
The Louvre Cafeteria - Paris, France |
The Louvre Cafeteria - Paris, France |
Best Service |
L'Assiette Champenoise - Reims, France Le Meurice - Paris, France |
Anker Restaurant - Bern, Switzerland Kornhauskeller - Bern, Switzerland |
Worst Service |
Sawasdee - Heidelberg, Germany |
Theresien Brau - Innsbruck, Austria |
Best Meal Experience |
Bateaux Parisiens - Paris, France |
Bateaux Parisiens - Paris, France |
Worst Meal Experience |
Finishing the degustation menu at the two star Les Elysées du Vernet in Paris, France by herself because I was sick. |
Getting severe food poisoning from the Louvre Cafeteria in Paris, France. |
Best Hotel Breakfast |
Goldener Hecht - Heidelberg, Germany |
Goldener Hecht - Heidelberg, Germany (A great German breakfast at our own little table.) |
Worst Hotel Breakfast |
N/A |
Breakfast at French hotels because they're skimpy and they want to charge you for them. |
Best Hotel Room |
Goldener Hecht - Heidelberg, Germany |
Goldener Hecht - Heidelberg, Germany L'Assiette Champenoise - Reims, France |
Worst Hotel Room |
Hotel Ibis Wein Mariahilf - Vienna, Austria |
Hotel Ibis Wein Mariahilf - Vienna, Austria |
Best View from a Hotel Room |
The lake and town from Hotel Pickwick, Luzern, Switzerland |
The lake from Hotel Bellevue in Brunnen, Switzerland |
Worst View from a Hotel Room |
The building next to Hotel Langois in Paris, France |
The building next to Hotel Langois in Paris, France |
Best Hotel Experience |
Hotel Eiffel Londres - Paris, France (Arnaud, the concierge, was the best.) |
Goldener Hecht - Heidelberg, Germany (They called around to get us a hotel room for the day before our reservation with them because they were full!) |
Worst Hotel Experience |
Hotel Ibis Wein Mariahilf - Vienna, Austria |
K & T Boarding House - Vienna, Austria (Called me a liar and got mad at me for canceling my reservation even though they got to charge my credit card for two nights. Bastards.) |
Favorite City |
Heidelberg, Germany |
Heidelberg, Germany Innsbruck, Austria |
Least Favorite City |
Arnay-le-Duc, France |
Paris, France Vienna, Austria |
Best Trip Experience |
The entire day of her birthday. |
Eating fine German food at the Anker Restaurant in Bern, Switzerland after having to deal with French food for more than a week. |
Worst Trip Experience |
Getting violently ill in Arnay-le-Duc. Getting lost in Vienna, Austria. |
Severe food poisoning in Paris, France. Being unable to find the K & T Boarding House in Vienna, Austria at night in the rain after searching for almost two and a half hours, and the lady at the hotel telling me I was lying about it when I called to cancel our reservation. |
Honorable Mention: the room at Chez Camille in Arnay-le-Duc, France; the sea bass with tomato puree at Le Meurice in Paris, France (Lynn's); the steak at La Fountaine de Mars in Paris, France; the beef Bourguignon with fries at the cafe whose name I can't remember in Beaune, France; the lunch at Theresien Brau in Innsbruck, Austria (Lynn's); the dinners at Anker Restaurant in Bern, Switzerland, Kornhauskeller in Bern, Switzerland (mine), and Le Palme in Heidelberg, Germany; the service at the Anker Restaurant in Bern, Switzerland (Lynn's); the atmosphere at Le Meurice in Paris, France; the meal experience at Kornhauskeller in Bern, Switzerland; the hotel breakfast at the Hotel am Schloss in Heidelberg, Germany and the Hotel Ibis Wein Mariahilf in Vienna, Austria; the hotel room at Chez Camille in Arnay-le-Duc, France; the view of the lake from the Hotel Bellevue in Brunnen, Switzerland (Lynn's), the river and town from Hotel PickWick in Luzern, Switzerland (mine), the river and town from Goldener Hecht in Heidelberg, Germany, and the Eiffel Tower from Hotel Eiffel Londres in Paris, France; the hotel experience at the Goldener Hecht in Heidelberg, Germany (Lynn's), the Hotel Eiffel Londres in Paris, France (mine), and L'Assiette Champenoise in Reims, France; the city of Luzern, Switzerland.
The camera I used was a Canon Powershot G5 digital camera. Lynn was using my Powershot G2. Some minor touch ups were done in Photoshop. (I'm sure the touch ups could have been done better, but I still lack the patience to examine every photo, so you get what you get.)
Anyway, you know the rest: the pictures are copyright by me (or Lynn as the case may be), and unauthorized use is prohibited.
